Navigating Divorce via the Body's Wisdom


For most men navigating separation or divorce, the mind is loud—and the body is silent... or so it seems.

We get trapped in our thoughts: running mental scripts, fears about custody, financial stress, conversations we should or shouldn't have had.

We analyze, we strategize, we spiral.

But underneath that noise, the body is speaking. And for those willing to listen, it holds some of the deepest truth we have access to.


What Is Somatic Awareness?

Somatic awareness is the practice of tuning into the sensations, movements, and emotional landscapes within your body.

It's not about "figuring it out"—it's about feeling it through.

This might mean noticing the tightness in your chest when your ex texts you.

It might mean sitting with the ache in your stomach after a custody meeting.

It might mean learning to breathe again when your nervous system is overloaded.

Most of us weren't taught how to feel. We were taught to endure. To cope. To push through.

But awareness is not endurance. It's presence.

And it's often the first step toward healing what logic alone can't touch.


My Personal Experience: Learning to Listen

When I was in the thick of my separation, I thought I had done all the work. I had been part of men’s groups, had done leadership training, I knew how to talk about my emotions. But I still found myself spiraling. I was panicked. Physically sick. Everything in my body felt like it was shutting down.

No amount of intellectual insight could pull me out of it. I knew what was happening. But I couldn’t stop what was happening.

And that’s when I realized—I was trying to heal with my head. I wasn’t in my body.

It wasn’t until I began practicing somatic meditation—tuning into my breath, scanning my body, and letting sensation guide me—that something shifted.

I remember one moment clearly: sitting alone in my room, shaking, feeling like I couldn’t hold the pain. My instinct was to text someone, to go for a walk, to do something.

Instead, I sat. I breathed. I put one hand on my heart and one on my belly.

And I said to myself, “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

That was the beginning of self-trust. Not as a concept. But as a felt experience.


Why This Matters During Divorce

Divorce is more than a legal process—it’s an emotional earthquake. And the aftershocks hit your body, even if your mind tries to pretend everything's under control.

Somatic awareness helps you:

  • Recognize and name emotional patterns
  • Interrupt your natural fight/flight/freeze responses
  • Build nervous system resilience
  • Reconnect to parts of yourself that got buried under survival mode

The body often stores what the mind can’t process.

So when you start listening, you start liberating parts of yourself that have been locked up for years.


Practical Somatic Practices

You don’t need to be a meditation expert to begin. Start small:

  • Body Scan: Each morning or night, take 5 minutes to scan from head to toe. Notice any tension, warmth, or numbness.
  • Breath Awareness: Set a timer for 3 minutes. Simply follow your breath. When your mind wanders (and it will), gently return it to your breath.
  • Grounding Touch: Place your hands on your chest or abdomen. Feel the contact. Speak a gentle phrase: “I’m here.”
  • Movement Check-In: Throughout the day, notice how your body wants to move. Stretch. Shake. Yawn. Let your body lead.


From Numb to Known

The truth is, you can’t think your way into healing.

You have to feel your way there. 
Your body is not the enemy.
It’s not a mystery.

Your body is a map.

When you learn to read it—when you trust its signals instead of overriding them—you begin to build a relationship with yourself that no one can take away.

And from that place?

You make clearer decisions. You access real strength. You show up differently—in court, with your kids, in future relationships.

Somatic awareness isn’t just about slowing down.
It’s about waking up.
Let that be your next rep.

And if you need someone to spot you—I’m here.