Everything we do begins with a want.
We want to grow. To heal. To create. To feel proud of ourselves again.
But too often, adults forget what pure, unquestioned wanting actually feels like. We overthink it, talk ourselves out of it, or bury it beneath logic, fear, or social conditioning.
When I work with men, I often use the analogy of a baby learning to walk — because nothing captures the power of Want better than that.
A baby doesn’t read a manual or take a class. It simply wants to move. It sees others walking and knows, instinctively, “I can do that.” It tries, falls, cries, and gets back up. Again and again. No self-doubt. No judgment. Just pure, natural motivation in motion.
That’s what want looks like before we learn to hide it.
Psychologists talk about two main types of motivation:
When a baby learns to walk, it’s pure intrinsic motivation. There’s no promise of praise or success — just a pull toward life itself.
As adults, that natural drive still lives inside us, but it often gets buried under expectation and self-criticism. The work of personal development isn’t to create motivation; it’s to remove the resistance that blocks it.
Many of us chase goals that sound good — not ones that feel right. We aim for promotions, recognition, or stability, yet still feel restless.
To reconnect with your true wants, try these simple practices:
Ask what’s behind it. Instead of asking “why,” ask, “What is behind that?” or “To what purpose or goal?”
Personally, I don’t often follow the trail of “why” — it can lead us deeper into the story rather than into truth. But this exercise can be helpful when done with curiosity, not judgment. Keep peeling back each layer until you reach what’s real beneath the surface.
Notice what energizes you. What activities make you lose track of time? What conversations make you come alive?
Energy is your compass toward authenticity.
Listen to your body. If your chest expands, your breath deepens, or your gut says yes — that’s a want worth trusting.
Once you find what truly calls to you, movement becomes easier. You stop forcing progress and start allowing it — like a baby finding its balance through repetition, not perfection.
Growth is messy. It’s full of falls and restarts. But each stumble is part of the process.
When a baby falls while learning to walk, no one says, “You failed.” We celebrate the attempt. We offer encouragement, not judgment.
Imagine giving yourself that same grace.
Each time you set a boundary, express emotion, or try something new, you’re flexing a new muscle. You might trip — you probably will — but each time, you’re building strength, awareness, and trust in your own capacity to rise.
Practical ways to nurture growth through Want:
When Want meets Grace, progress becomes inevitable.
This is where the baby analogy takes on a deeper layer — especially for fathers or men learning to reparent their own inner child.
We’ve all watched a child learn to walk. We cheer, encourage, and celebrate every attempt. We offer grace for every fall because we know it’s part of learning.
Now imagine offering that same grace to yourself.
One of my clients once said something that has stayed with me:
“As a father, I can celebrate and encourage my baby’s progress.”
That reflection changed everything for him — and for me. It reminded him that the patience, love, and compassion he gives his child are the same qualities his inner father can give to himself.
To practice this:
This is how healing becomes leadership — not over others, but within yourself.
Modern motivation research, including Daniel Pink’s Drive, highlights three core ingredients of sustained engagement:
These are the adult versions of that baby’s urge to stand and move. When we honor them, motivation becomes self-sustaining. Ignore them, and energy drains away.
Real success — personal or professional — begins when we reconnect to the primal, unstoppable force of Want that’s been there since the beginning.
Want is not a weakness. It’s the starting point of every breakthrough.
You’ve felt it before — that pull toward something bigger, even when you didn’t know how to get there. That’s the same instinct that drives a baby to take its first step.
So, when you fall, get back up.
When you feel stuck, return to what’s behind your want.
When you lose faith, remember that Want itself is proof of possibility.
The energy of true Want carries its own momentum. You don’t have to force it — you only have to trust it.
Take a quiet moment today and ask yourself:
“What do I really want right now — and what’s one small step I can take toward it?”
Then take that step.
Fall if you must. Get up again.
Because when you move from your deepest Want, there’s no stopping the growth that follows.